Being attracted to someone who is already in a relationship can be confusing and frustrating.
You might wonder why you keep falling for guys who are taken and what it says about your own feelings and desires.
Understanding these reasons can help you break the pattern and find healthier relationships.
There are many reasons why taken guys might seem more attractive. It could be because they appear more desirable, or maybe you like the thrill of competition.
Sometimes, it’s about feeling safe from real commitment or seeing them as more mature and stable.
These reasons can be different for everyone but knowing them can help you understand your own behavior better.
In this article, we’ll explore 10 common reasons why you might always be drawn to guys who are taken.
By recognizing these patterns, you can start to make changes and focus on finding someone who is truly available and right for you.
1. They Seem More Desirable
Sometimes, you might find yourself attracted to guys who are already in a relationship because they seem more desirable.
Seeing someone who is taken can make them appear more valuable in your eyes.
They are already loved by someone else, which might make you think they must have great qualities to be in a relationship.
Another reason why taken men might seem more appealing is that they show they can commit.
They’re not scared of relationships, and they know how to treat their partners well. That can be really attractive if you’re tired of dating people who don’t want to settle down.
Also, the challenge of catching someone who is already taken can add to the thrill. It’s not the healthiest motivation, but the excitement of the chase can be a big draw.
The idea of winning them over can make your interactions with them more intense and engaging.
[Read: Maneater Woman: Meaning And 10 Traits to Spot Her]
2. You Feel Safe from Real Commitment
You might find yourself attracted to guys who are taken because it feels safer.
Subconsciously, you know a relationship with them likely won’t happen since they are already with someone else.
This can be comforting if you’re not actually ready for a serious relationship yourself.
Choosing someone who is unavailable helps you avoid the risk of real heartbreak. Deep down, you might be scared of getting hurt.
Being drawn to someone who’s taken means you don’t have to worry about fully opening up or dealing with the challenges of a real relationship.
Moreover, this pattern can point to a fear of rejection. With someone who is already taken, you expect from the start that things might not work out.
That can feel less scary than putting your heart on the line with someone who is fully available and might still turn you down.
3. Lack of Availability Reflects Your Own Values
Sometimes, being attracted to someone who is already in a relationship reflects your own values about love and commitment.
Maybe you see relationships as something really valuable and hard to find. So, when you see someone who’s taken, it could signal to you that they are capable of being in a committed relationship.
This attraction could also be telling you something about what you think you deserve in love.
Maybe part of you doesn’t feel worthy of a straightforward, happy relationship. You might believe deep down that love needs to be complicated or fought for, so you’re drawn to complex situations like this.
Additionally, this pattern might indicate a need for growth in how you view relationships.
It could be a chance to look at why you feel unworthy of an easy, loving partnership.
Understanding this about yourself can help you make better choices and find someone who is truly available and right for you.
4. The Idea of Competition Excites You
Being attracted to someone who is taken might also come from a love of competition.
You may find the idea of competing for someone’s affection exciting.
The presence of a challenge might make the pursuit more interesting than if someone were readily available to you. It’s about proving to yourself and others that you can win them over, even against the odds.
This competitive drive can make you perceive the relationship as a game to be won.
While the thrill of the chase can be exhilarating, it often overlooks the deeper, more meaningful aspects of building a relationship.
Such attractions are rarely about long-term connections and more about the immediate satisfaction of winning.
[Also Read: 12 Signs Of A Spoiled Woman]
5. You See Them as Pre-Approved
Another reason you might be drawn to someone who is taken is that they come as “pre-approved” by someone else.
This means they have already shown they can maintain a relationship, which can be reassuring.
You see them through a filter of approval, knowing they have qualities that someone finds loveable, which can make them seem like a safer bet than starting fresh with someone new.
Seeing them as pre-approved can reduce the guesswork and risk involved in dating.
You feel like you’re opting for someone who has already been vetted, which seems less daunting than exploring a connection with someone whose relational qualities you can’t be as sure about.
6. Your Self-Esteem Needs a Boost
Sometimes, the attraction to someone who is taken stems from self-esteem issues.
Winning over someone who’s already committed can feel like a major validation of your desirability and worth.
It’s as though their choice to step outside their relationship for you confirms that you are special and valuable.
However, these feelings are often fleeting and not based on genuine self-worth. This approach to relationships can leave you feeling empty after the initial excitement wears off.
Building lasting self-esteem comes from within and through healthier interactions, not from seeking approval in ways that ultimately feel superficial.
7. You Enjoy the Drama
You might find yourself drawn to taken people because you enjoy the drama that comes with such situations.
Relationships that are forbidden or complicated can seem more intense and passionate than the norm.
The highs and lows of such dynamics can be addictive, giving you an emotional rush that more stable relationships might not provide.
Yet, constantly seeking out drama can be draining and detrimental in the long run.
It often leads to painful situations and prevents you from experiencing the deeper satisfaction of a stable, loving relationship.
Recognizing a pattern of seeking drama is a crucial step towards choosing healthier, more fulfilling relationships.
[Interesting:10 Reasons Why You Want A Boyfriend So Badly]
8. They Seem More Mature
Often, you might find yourself attracted to someone who is taken because they appear more mature than others.
People in relationships might seem like they have their life together, making them more appealing.
They handle responsibilities within their relationship, showing qualities like patience, understanding, and the ability to compromise.
These mature qualities can be very attractive, especially if you’re tired of meeting people who don’t seem ready to handle a serious relationship.
The contrast between someone who demonstrates maturity in their actions and others who might shirk responsibilities can draw you towards the former, enhancing their appeal.
9. You Fear Deep Connections
Sometimes, the attraction to someone who is unavailable stems from a deep-seated fear of true intimacy.
Engaging with someone who can’t fully commit allows you to keep a safe distance. You can enjoy moments of closeness without the vulnerability that comes with a deep, committed relationship.
By choosing someone who is already involved with another, you guard yourself against the full spectrum of intimacy, which can be scary.
This strategy may protect you from immediate emotional pain but also keeps genuine, fulfilling connections at bay.
Recognizing and addressing this fear can open doors to more meaningful and committed relationships.
10. You Misinterpret Your Emotions
You might misinterpret feelings of admiration or infatuation as deeper love, especially towards someone in a relationship.
Their unavailability can intensify your emotions, making the attraction feel more profound than it actually is.
The barriers to being together can make every interaction with them charged with a sense of urgency and significance.
However, these feelings are often based more on the situation than on the person.
Once the barriers are removed, you might find that the attraction isn’t as strong as you thought. It’s important to distinguish between genuine feelings and those amplified by circumstances.